Birth and Death
by DimpleCurlAeternaGirl
Summary: Kate comes across Claire in the jungle while sprinting towards the caves with supplies for a gravely injured Boone. Claire is in labor and a state of denial. Jack is unable to help, leaving Claire in the inexperienced hands of Kate to help her friend during childbirth. One-Shot based on Episode 1x20 Do No Harm. Canon-based 1st Person POV.


**"Babies are like little suns that, in a magical way, bring warmth, happiness and light into our lives." – Kartini Diapari-Oengider**

* * *

I was at the caves to talk to Jack and get water when I heard a commotion behind me. Locke was bringing in Boone surrounded by a few people. At first glance, Locke's shirt and hands were saturated with Boone's blood. Jack jumped up and took over immediately.

"Come on, out of the way! I need room. Steady." He had Locke put him on the medical table made up of seat cushions covered by airline blankets. Boone's eyes were open but it looked like he was in shock. His piercing blue eyes contrasted with the rivulets blood trickling down his face.

"Boone? Can you hear me? It's okay. We've got you." I said. I didn't know if it would be okay or not but I was hoping he could at least hear me. Other people milled around, gasping and whispering.

"What happened?" Hurley asked. He tried not to look at the blood as Jack directed him and a few other men to move the makeshift bed to a flat surface on the other side of the cave.

"He fell down a cliff." I repeated what Locke had told Jack.

Hurley seemed confused. "But he was with Locke."

It was a good point but we didn't know the full story … yet.

"Hold steady." Jack said to Sun.

"Jack, his leg!" Sun observed. His right leg was broken and laying at an odd angle

"I know. He's bleeding. Keep him steady, damn it! You've got to press harder than that, Kate." Jack spoke in a clipped tone. I was pushing down on his chest with a cloth as they moved him slowly into position.

"I know. I'm trying." I don't know how to describe what I was looking at after Jack ripped his shirt open. His chest had lacerations and his lungs may have been pushing through his ribs. I couldn't tell and didn't want to look. I also didn't want to cause more damage by touching it.

Jack directed the men where to place him. "Alright, slow now. Slow and gentle. Easy." They laid Boone on a flat rock near the ground and medical cart. Jack put his fingers on Boone's neck, checking his pulse as Boone gasped for air slowly, as if breathing through a straw. It was painful to listen to. "Sun! Pair of scissors. Second drawer in the cart. Second drawer!" he yelled.

We all were moving slower in shock at seeing our friend injured so badly. Jack was losing patience. We weren't a trauma team. "Diapers in the first drawer." He looked up at me. "Sun's going to switch places with you. Sun, I need…"

Sun had already switched places with me. "Yes, I understand." She was calm and confident on the surface. I could see she was shaken up too. Boone was one of our own. _How did this happen?_

Jack turned to Hurley. "Hurley, grab me that first class seat from up there. Also, I need that mesh. We need to create some kind of sterile…" He looked Hurley, who was turning pale and swaying. "Hurley, I swear to God, if you faint…!" Jack yelled at him.

Hurley denied it, sweat beading his forehead and face. He moved away. "No! First class … mesh. I'm cool." He rushed away muttering. "Lord in heaven…" I saw him secretly cross himself.

Jack looked back up at me and gave me terse instructions as Boone continued to bleed out and struggle for air. "Get to the beach. Ransack Sawyer's stuff. I want his alcohol, rubbing, scotch…" He suddenly stopped.

Boone starting making terrible rasping noises like he couldn't breathe, his large, blue eyes were wide with fright.

"Jack, what's going on?" I was on edge, afraid for Boone. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"His lung just collapsed." He spoke softly while feeling Boone's left side. "Okay." Jack got some tubing and peroxide. He took a long, metal stake. I watched, transfixed, unable to move as he pulled his arm back and stabbed Boone in the chest, creating a hole. It sounded like air escaped. Jack's back was to me. He spoke quietly. "Okay, okay. Good, Boone. Good, Boone. That's good. Good job. Alright, a little bit of tube in that and you're going to be just fine."

I was frozen to the spot, watching what he was doing. Jack turned back, startling me. "What are you still doing here?!" he barked. He raised his voice and started to yell again in frustration. "The alcohol, Kate! You want him to live?! Get to the beach, now!"

Of course, I wanted him to live! I jumped at his voice, my legs no longer frozen.

I turned and ran out of the caves as fast as I could to the beach towards Sawyer's tent.

I had never seen a person so broken and bleeding before and still alive, much less someone I knew. I hoped Jack could save him.

* * *

I came upon Sawyer with Michael and Walt cooking fish over a camp fire on the beach while Jin worked on the raft.

I turned to him, frantic. "Sawyer, I need all of your alcohol. NOW!" I was covered in sweat from sprinting, my backpack strapped on. Sawyer didn't ask questions for once. He took off after me as I ran to his tent.

I opened my backpack and Sawyer put liquor bottles in from his stash in a suitcase. He piled in everything he had as we talked in low voices. I told him about Boone showing up mangled and it didn't look good. "How'd it happen?" He asked. He looked genuinely concerned.

"Locke said that he fell off a cliff while they were out hunting boar." But it didn't sound right, even as the words left my mouth. I wasn't sure if that was what really happened or not based on how bad Boone looked. I would have guessed something heavy fell on him.

Sawyer looked skeptical. "Boar they never seem to get." He gave me a significant look.

"Is that it?" I gazed at the pile of small alcohol bottles in my backpack.

"Afraid so. You need anything else? I could come with you." His forehead wrinkled in concern. There were no strings attached this time. I was grateful.

I gave him a half smile. "Too many cooks already, but thanks." My hair was soaked. I pushed it out of the way of my backpack, letting the curls dangle freely so they didn't get pulled. Seconds later, I was running full speed back to the caves.

It was late afternoon. The sun would be setting in the next hour or so. I was overheated but felt a cool breeze that smelled of salt water stirring behind my back. It helped spur me forward at a dead sprint.

I ran through the jungle off the path. The shadows were growing deeper and my eyes missed the root I tripped over. I fell along with my pack and heard the clinking sound of breaking glass. The sound made me cringe. I rushed in panic and unzipped my bag muttering, "Come on! Come on!" I found at least two bottles had broken and leaked. "Damn it!" I threw one smashed bottle top back into the bag. I knew better than to leave broken glass on the ground.

I heard some movement in the jungle and the sound of crying, then moaning. I stood up slowly. It sounded human. I zipped the bag and quietly and tried to locate the source.

Several yards off the path I saw teal and black through the leaves. I pushed back the branches to find Claire leaning over. Her left hand gripped an old branch sticking out from a large, prone log.

"Claire?" I approached her quickly. "What are you doing out here." She held her stomach across the middle and was obviously in pain. She was drenched in sweat. The humidity was oppressive. The jungle canopy had trapped the heat and turned the area into a greenhouse.

"Nothing." She pretended nothing was awry. "Just leave me alone, please." This was not the Claire I knew. She turned away moaned again, pushing against the branch. She leaned over cradling her belly while sweat beaded up on her forehead.

I dawned on me what was happening as I watched her pant and moan in pain. "Oh, God! You're having the baby." A trickle of fear went down my back, but her agony washed it away.

I had a backpack to deliver, but come hell or highwater, I wasn't going to leave her alone.

* * *

I set my bag down immediately and approached her. I tried to reason with Claire, speaking softly as I would to a wounded or jittery animal. She wasn't rational and wanted to be alone. I could tell from her unusual behavior. No eye contact and she refused to face me.

"Um, Claire, we need to get you back to camp." I gently tried to persuade her. I put my hand on her shoulder and the other over her tiny hand which was grasping her belly. My fingers came in contact with her abdomen. It was rock hard, not soft on the surface like before.

She refused to go. "I'm fine. I just need to … I just need to catch my breath is all." She was in a serious state of denial. She sat on the log and retreated from me by scooting backwards, as if I was going to drag her away.

"It's not okay. You're having your baby." _In the middle of the jungle at night where polar bears and boars roam_ , I wanted to add.

She shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'm okay. It's just gas pains. It's fine."

My eyes grew round. "You're having contractions, Claire!" I was watching them occur at regular intervals.

"NO! I'M BLOODY NOT! Can you just leave me alone?!" She tried to turn her little body and inch away from me. I questioned her behavior. I would have been relieved if I were in her shoes to not be alone, even though it was only me.

I didn't know what to do and felt a little panicked. "C'mon, I have to get you to Jack. Please try to stand. Please?" I put my hand under her arm to help her up.

"Look, I can't!" She cried out in pain, unable to look up at me. She couldn't walk. Now I understood.

I didn't know firsthand about humans giving birth. I had witnessed cows and horses born on Tommy's farm, but it wasn't the same. I did remember they struggled to walk before giving birth to the calf, filly or foal. The barnyard animals usually restricted movement to save energy and laid down in the straw.

"Okay. Um…" I looked around. People went up and down that beach path all day to the caves for water and there was hardly any privacy in this damn place. _Where the hell was everyone now?_ "Help! Somebody help!" I yelled in hopes of someone from camp hearing us. Nobody answered. My eyes didn't leave Claire.

I kept calling out for help, praying it wouldn't alert the Others. After several minutes, I heard running in the undergrowth.

Jin burst out through the trees running full speed and came to a grinding halt. He literally slid to a stop when he saw Claire. "Oh!" His voice registered surprise. I turned around to face him. I had been sitting facing Claire, my hands on her leg to calm her.

Jin's eyes were open wide with panic and his mouth gaped at the situation.

I stood and walked over to him and smiled while speaking slowly to him. He was smart. I hoped he would catch a few of my English words. "Jin, I need you to go to the _caves_ and get _Jack_ , okay, understand? We need _Jack_."

Jin nodded. "Jack. Doctor."

"Yes! Get the _doctor_ to please _come_ _here_." I grabbed my backpack.

Claire cried out to me. "Don't leave me, Kate!" She was in a lot of pain. Her eyes begged me. I could see the terror in them.

I went back and squeezed her forearm for reassurance. "Oh, no, no, honey! I won't. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I promise." I handed Jin the pack with the liquor bottles in it. "For Jack. Hurry!"

* * *

It was dark. The crickets and other benign night creatures were making noise all around us. I started a campfire and tended it to keep it going. It was probably going to be long night. I put on my long-sleeved white shirt when it became cooler and continually watched Claire. She was unable to move for a while but finally stood and leaned against the old log, using the same thick branch for leverage.

Claire was unusually quiet. She finally turned to me, holding her stomach. "They've stopped!" She was giddy and still in a state of denial that the baby was coming, even after hours of regular contractions. Her hair hung down, still damp in places from sweating through the most recent contractions.

"That happens, I think." I spoke in a sotto voice. I didn't want to upset her.

"No, no, no! They're not coming anymore. I'm fine. I'm okay! I'm okay!" Claire's insistence bordered on hysteria. I didn't want her moving around thinking she could take off for camp.

I stood approaching her slowly. "No. Claire…"

"No, no, no! I'm okay! Really!" She was adamant the labor was over and stood upright facing me. My heart dropped.

"Claire, I don't think that you should be doing…" I didn't get to finish my sentence about her moving around. When the next hard contraction hit, I wouldn't be able to drag her back on my own.

We both heard a squelching sound and water spatter at her feet. I looked down at her legs. I could see the drops of moisture and knew what it was.

Gravity was a bitch. Claire had just hastened the delivery of her baby.

"What is that?" Claire looked down, unsure of what had happened.

"I think your water just broke." My voice didn't reflect my anxiety. I had to be strong for Claire. Inside, I was nervous and wondering where the hell Jack was. I reached her as she started to panic.

"No, no, no!" Her adrenaline put her in fight or flight mode. She jerked away as I took her arm.

I tried to keep hold of her as she struggled to get loose. I was concerned she would try to sprint a short distance into the dark jungle. "Yeah! No, no, calm down. I think you…"

"No, I can't have the baby now!" She was escalating and jerked her arm to get away.

"Just hold on…" I tried to be firm and reassure her. She was in distress. It was heartbreaking. She was frightened and it wouldn't help her to waste energy. She was going to need it to push the baby out.

"I can't have the baby now!" she yelled. She started to sob and sat down on the log. I rubbed her arm. I was two years older, but she looked so young, almost like a teenager.

I spoke to her as confidently as I could to calm her down. "Just hold on. Jack's coming." I looked her in the eyes, trying to convey hope despite my doubts on his timing. "Claire! He's coming."

She continued to cry but no longer fought me. I sat consoling her while we both waited, speaking softly and pushing her long, blonde hair off of her neck, to try and cool her down. It was damp and sticky with sweat. I felt so bad that she was stuck in this damn jungle of all places and about to give birth with me as her only companion. I crossed my fingers he would make it in time.

"Oh, God, that hurts!" Claire's contractions were stronger. Her sweet face scrunched up with pain each time, her eyes round afterwards as she breathed with the brief reprieve. She rocked back and forth on the log while I held her hand and rubbed her lower back with the other.

The time had long passed for Jack to show must have happened.

My mind was consumed with Claire.

I forgot what Jack was doing.

* * *

I heard crashing and running in the distance. My ears picked out the sounds of two people running that were not the outdoors type. They were breaking a lot of branches and making a lot of noise. I turned slightly as I heard a greeting, my focus set on Claire.

"Hello? Hey, Kate. Claire, is she okay?" Charlie burst into the area where I had built a campfire. Jin was on his heels. Jin wore a backpack and rushed past me towards Claire as I pulled Charlie aside.

"Where's Jack?" I tried not to panic. Claire was already having another contraction. To my surprise, I saw Jin approach and kneel in front of her.

"He couldn't come." Charlie delivered the blow calmly.

"What do you mean he couldn't come?" I snapped. I couldn't believe he had something else more important to do, forgetting what had transpired in the caves.

Charlie grabbed my forearm to get my full attention. "He's pouring his own blood into Boone's arm right now." He looked at me intensely. Oh, God! Boone! He had to be in dire condition for Jack to do that.

I scrambled for another option as Claire continued to cry out in pain. "Okay, okay. We'll just pick her up and bring her to him." I figured he could at least tell me what to do while Claire gave birth.

Charlie shook his head. "No, Kate."

"No, we have to take her to him before it's too late!" I reasoned, my anxiety running rampant. The contraction was ending. We both looked over simultaneously to Claire when her moaning stopped. We were behind her and only saw her back as she rocked herself. Jin calmly looked up at us and held up a hand, indicating we should stop and be quiet.

Charlie took me by the elbow to pull me away to the outer edges of the clearing.

He looked at me and whispered calmly, "Look, Jack said you have to deliver the baby." The firelight flickered but I could see him clearly. He was dead serious.

I blanched, not believing my ears. "What?"

He went on to explain as I started to deny. "Now, he talked me through it..."

"No. I can't do this." The pitch of my voice raised. I didn't know how to deliver a human baby. What if there were problems? What if I messed up?

"Yes, you can. It's relatively simple. I have water. I have towels." He tried to explain calmly.

I grabbed his arms to stop him from looking in his pack and focus. "You're not listening to me, Charlie. I can't deliver this baby." I was adamant but spoke quietly.

"Well, somebody bloody has to!" He frowned and looked at me expectantly.

He was right. I had to do it.

His words were like cold glass of water dumped over my head. I froze as they washed over me. He couldn't do it. Neither could Jin. Claire trusted me and I was certain about being the only person between the three candidates that had witnessed live birth, even though it was livestock.

Claire let out a small cry.

We both looked over.

Jin was looking up at her smiling and spoke soothingly in Korean. He placed a hand on her arm, something I rarely saw from him. He seemed averse to physical contact with anyone except with Sun.

None of us could understand what he was saying. Gauging his tone and the pleasant look on his face, his words were easily translated. He was attempting to calm her down and encourage her. He smiled, a rare but welcome sight. His tranquil face was lit up by the campfire.

Claire must have realized his intentions. She transitioned from the long period of denial to a different state of mind with him. She began to confide in Jin, the one person who didn't speak English, but words didn't mean as much as the feelings and actions behind them. His strong presence and positive energy broke through her shell and grounded her to reality.

Her fears began to pour out. "You know I was out there for over a week? Days I can't remember? I mean, what if .. what if they did something to the baby? I'm not ready for this." She began to rock again as I approached her, Charlie beside me. She whispered, her voice full of fear, "I'm not … I'm _so_ scared. I'm _scared_."

I kneeled beside her on the log, my hand rubbing her back again. I spoke softly and told her the truth. "Hey, um, I'm scared, too. But we're going to get through this together, okay?"

The three of us watched her. Her expression stated to change as another contraction took over.

Something told me it wasn't going to be long.

* * *

Claire was in hard labor. The men had moved back to the edge of the clearing to sit behind a fallen tree and left me with the blankets and towels. I put one across her knees for privacy and removed her underwear. She remained on the log. The top was broad enough for her petite body and had a dip in it for her to either sit or lean back.

The men had fed the fire and stuck a few torches around us so I could see what I was doing. Thank God for them! I had clean scissors, cord to tie off the umbilical cord, bottled water and a few other items. Other than that, it was just me, Claire and the baby that was about to arrive into my unskilled hands.

I could see the top of the pale, round head peeking out now with each contraction. Claire hadn't asked to push or even tried yet. Her body was obviously doing the work up until now. Charlie had passed along Jack's instructions. I thought that women had a natural, overwhelming urge to push at some point.

"Claire, I think this is about the time you're supposed to start pushing, okay? So, push." I coached her when her next contraction hit.

I looked up at Claire. She was making a funny face with her cheeks puffed out like a little kid. I quickly realized she was holding her breath and purposely not pushing. She tried to push her knees together but couldn't. The baby's head was too far down.

"Don't hold your breath, honey. You won't be able to push if you ... Claire? Claire, what are you doing?" Claire still held her breath, her puffed out cheeks turning pink and shook her head at me. "Oh, no, no, no, Claire. You need to push, right now. Don't do this, Claire, okay?!" I began to plead with her. I was nervous but trying to mask it with as much bravery as I could. I didn't want Claire to feed off of my insecurity.

My hands were on each calf to give her something to brace against. I _needed_ her to push. I never imagined she would resort to trying to this. Her fear was clouding her mind. She was frightened but she was at the point of no return. It could put her and the baby in danger. I knew the baby got air from her breathing.

"You can't stop this, Claire. This is happening. Your baby is coming and I need your help." I begged with my whole heart. She stopped and gasped for air.

She looked up at me. We gazed at each other and I felt her fear. "It's not going to want me." Tears fell down her face, wet already with perspiration.

I didn't understand. "What?"

She cried. "It knows I don't want it, that I was going to give it away. Babies know that stuff." She sobbed a little. Her fear was more complicated than giving birth. Now I understood. It was guilt, anxiety that _she_ was going to be a mom and paranoia that the tiny baby would reject her, as if it knew she had planned to give it up for adoption.

Plans change all the time. Things happen. That's life.

I looked at her squarely, steel pouring through my veins and replacing my former panic. I wanted to pour every ounce of my courage into her. "Do you want this baby now? Hmm?" I smiled softly at her at her, my hands still on her legs. "Do you want it to be healthy and safe?" Claire nodded quickly, crying as she soaked up every word. I looked at her seriously. "Okay, then the baby knows that, too!" I insisted. "You _are not_ alone in this." I gestured to Charlie and Jin. "We are _all_ here for you. This baby is _all of ours_ , but I need you to push, okay?"

She nodded again, crying. "Okay." Tears coursed down her face.

I nodded back. It was time. I put my hands against her legs to brace her as the next contraction hit. "Alright. 1…2…3…Push! Good! Good! Push!"

Claire pushed hard with each contraction as I encouraged her with the same intensity, pushing hard against her calves instinctively to help her brace and make the push more effective. I knew Charlie and Jin were behind us to support her and help if I needed it.

It became a blur of pushing, tears, perspiration and words. Claire and I worked together as a unit she did the hard part. She bravely pushed through the pain with each contraction as I encouraged her. I tried to lend her every bit of my strength and support.

Claire pushed hard, groaning through yet another contraction. Sweat poured off of her. A bubble had formed around us. Nothing else in the world existed except for me, Claire and the baby.

They were all that mattered to me.

I coached her through each contraction and watched carefully to make sure she was breathing. She needed her strength. "Breathe! C'mon breathe! Breathe! Okay, okay!"

I checked the baby again. She was making great progress. The head was on the verge of coming out. I looked up quickly as the next contraction took hold. "Ready? I think it's close! C'mon. Go, go, go! That's really good, Claire!" I smiled as she groaned. She panted between each contraction.

Another followed. I was excited and amazed at what I was witnessing. I felt to privileged to be witnessing this, even more so to be helping her. She was tired but worked with me, no longer backing off in fear. I was _so_ proud of her.

"C'mon, I think it's close. Okay, good, good, good! I can see it! I can see the top of its head! I can see it! I can see it, okay. You're almost there. You're so close! You're so close!" I cheered her, repeating and encouraging as the head crowned.

Claire looked down at me between contractions as she cried. I cried with her. We both were connected. She was doing the work and knew I was there to do anything she needed to help her, anything at all.

The next contraction came fast. "Ready, ready? C'mon, one more! Push, push, push, push, push!" The head emerged. I told Claire to pant as the head slowly came out facing Claire's left thigh. I got goosebumps as I saw the baby's little face.

She struggled through the contraction and panted. Jack said she needed to do that. I could see it was so she wouldn't tear as the biggest part of the baby eased its way out, the head. I couldn't imagine the kind of pain she was in. She looked exhausted but had won my respect and admiration through the pain, tenacity and pure grit she had shown.

I tried to clear out the baby's mouth and nose like Jack said but had nothing but a clean cloth to work with.

I looked at Claire and told her to push one more time. I had my hands under the baby's tiny head and neck. There was no way I was going to drop it now. She pushed hard and it slid right out. I had one hand under its head, the other under its back as I held it in my arms.

I began to cry, tears falling from sheer joy. "Oh! You have a little boy!"

He was about seven pounds of perfection with a healthy set of lungs for being so tiny. He cried loudly, much to my relief. I carefully handed him to Claire, laying him in her eager arms on her chest. "Your baby boy."

She laid back on the log crying. "I have a son!" She sobbed happily as she looked at him. "I have a son!"

I could hear cheering in the background and jumping. It was Jin and Charlie. I couldn't take my eyes off Claire and her son. She was drenched, in the jungle and laying on an old log with a baby wrapped in a thin airline blanket. Torchlight illuminated them both.

It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

She cried and glanced at me with a little smile, then back at him to examine and his little face, fingers and toes.

She amazed me with the strength she had shown.

The fearful girl of hours ago was transformed into a glowing, happy mother.

I had to deliver the afterbirth. Jin and Charlie had already dug a hole to put it in. Thankfully, I had the supplies that Jack had sent. I had already tied off the cord near the baby and tied it again two inches away from the afterbirth and cut it.

Jack could check the baby over when we went back to camp.

I wiped off baby boy the best I could with a clean cloth dampened with bottled water. Claire and I exchanged several looks ranging from satisfied to delighted. She talked softly to the him as cleaned them both up. He squirmed and fussed but calmed down whenever he heard her voice. He recognized it. He looked towards her but his young eyes were unable to focus.

There was a clean cloth in the bag we used to put on his tiny body as a diaper. After that, we took two blankets and wrapped him tightly. I didn't have children and was an only child but had seen other moms with their babies. The newborns were always burrito rolled. I had heard moms say newborns liked the constriction after living balled up in the womb. It made sense.

He was quiet after we bundled him up. Only his little face and fingers were visible. He had them close to his mouth and would suck on one periodically, tasting it.

Claire was head over heels in love.

* * *

I threw a thick towel over my shoulder in case Claire needed something extra to wrap him in. The morning breeze that came from the ocean was cool in camp. I made sure she could stand and walk with Charlie and Jin's help. Jin backed off but walked slowly with us as we helped Claire to the beach. Charlie was on her left side, holding her elbow while grinning ear to ear. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was the father.

We made it to the clearing that led to the beach and slowly emerged. The sun was just starting to rise to greet us.

A new day was about to dawn on a new life.

Word had spread among camp. I could hear the buzzing of cheerful voices. It looked like everybody was awake and waiting to greet the newest member of our group. They got excited and pointed, gathering slowly around to see the baby.

Smiles wreathed every face as we all admired the baby. Claire was congratulated over and over. She was beaming. It was the first time I had seen all of the survivors genuinely smile since the crash.

When Claire had the baby, she gave a gift to us all. The baby was a miracle.

He was a reminder of the fact we were still alive.

He gave us hope that life goes on and we might still have things to look forward to.

Jack came over and looked at the baby. He admired him but didn't ask to examine him yet. I could tell he had a long night.

We exchanged warm smiles. The look he gave me was one he saved only for me. It was the kind that softened his face and crept into his light, brown eyes. It generated a warm, tingling feeling in my chest, but the moment was interrupted. He was suddenly distracted.

His expression changed when he saw Shannon down the beach with Sayid. I followed his downcast gaze. I got the impression things may not have gone well in the caves. I didn't have the news yet on how Boone was doing but watched as Jack strode over to her. His stiff shoulders and gait told me it wasn't good.

It felt like I was watching it in slow motion. Shannon's eyes dropped and she staggered back a bit. Sayid wrapped his arms around her. I swallowed. There was nothing I could do.

Someone asked me a question when Claire mentioned my name. I turned politely and smiled, then grinned when I saw the baby's little fingers trying to hide his face.

I didn't know what to think about what was unfolding down the beach but had to push it down until I could talk to Jack.

I wasn't going to ruin the moment for Claire.

* * *

I walked over to Jack after settling Claire and the baby in her tent complete with the cradle she made with Locke. It was lined with the softest blankets in camp. She was exhausted and needed to rest. The baby was sound asleep as well. They both had an arduous night.

Jack examined them both before letting them rest and was pleased. Afterwards, he turned and raced off to get his backpack. I was perplexed. What had gotten into him?

He was on the beach next to a palm tree. I sat next to him in the sand, curious about what he was doing. He wasn't just packing medical supplies. He put food and water in his pack. He was going somewhere.

I had already heard the news. Boone had died.

Jack did everything he could to save him, even gave him his own blood. In the end, Boone refused a last-resort attempt of Jack's to save him by amputation and passed shortly after. Jack had promised to save him. Boone said he was letting him off the hook. His bravery in the face of his own death was beyond admirable. It was heroic.

I could feel pain radiating off of Jack. In addition, there was misplaced guilt and anger.

I sighed at the irony of the night, sorrow seeping in at Boone's passing while rejoicing over the baby's arrival. I was torn by the most bittersweet feeling in the world.

One soul passed as another arrived. Perhaps they crossed paths in mid-air under the open heavens.

Jack looked up at me. "It's a beautiful, healthy baby."

I watched him, full of concern. He was pale and with dark circles under his eyes. He was also pissed off, despite his words. His body betrayed him with his sharp, angry movements.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Boone died, Jack." I searched his face, willing him to share with me.

His eyes flashed. "He didn't die. He was murdered." He threw his backpack over his shoulder and took off in long, rigid strides.

I was shocked at the accusation and raced to keep up with him. "What?! Jack, where are you going?"

"To find John Locke." He kept up the furious pace. My shorter legs couldn't keep up without jogging.

I had an impulse to follow him but didn't for once. Claire's tent had caught my eye. She would need help from in the coming hours and Charlie wasn't the one to do it.

She needed other women around her with our primitive living conditions and the lack of medical staff.

It was the way of our foremothers.

I wasn't going to leave her. I suspected Sun and Rose would join me in caring for the new mom and baby.

Perhaps other women would be drawn in too, attracted by the baby and ability to be useful in service to Claire.

It was meaningful, full of purpose and something the island hadn't robbed us of. It felt right to come together to take care of one of our own.

I sat and sifted sand through my fingers and nervously bit my lip as I watched Jack disappear. If things were different, I would have grabbed my pack and accompanied him. If anything, I wanted to make sure he was safe.

Live together...

I still didn't understand what he meant by murder but hoped he would come back soon.


End file.
